reincarnate...

i, too, have been haunted by the spirit of absence,
searching mists, halved, coated
under the sugared textures of lamplight…
a hopeless phantom upon a dying stead,
you were here and gone,
swallowed by the frustrated fog
bordering an incandescent moor
where we all learn to weep.

i lived inside you;
touched the mellow tones of your sighs,
tumbled in tears down your face,
nestled in each breath you sucked in the frigid air;
i lived in the arena of your endless thought,
dipped into the well of your soul…
i possessed you without words of love,
without the comfort
of secure hearths, fragrant fingertips…

now the words are impossible, dying on my
rigid tongue which floats dully, uncontrollable, heavy,
like an arm deadened by sleep…
still in my dreams i find you;
but you fail me there where i cannot
bury the loss…

in the night before mind shadows descend,
i crawl into myself to look for you;
to weep, to scream in the darkness where I cannot
see reflections or hear echoes of the sun;
they have, as you promised, proved faithless…
the glass bubble, refuses; it blows only emptiness;
i see shrouds…

in the morning they shall free my ashes
across this sterile terrain…
and how shall we find it again, searching through
mouthless caves, caverns of flesh
for the bits and pieces that were yours all along?

will you love an urn upon your mantle?
will you place the silt upon your vast altar?
will you conceive me again and wrap me in the soft
recesses of your flesh,
loving me with the touch of your hand as well as your
infinite mind?


reincarnate...soliloquies
ja allen