janus

it is ivory—carved with bloody nails;
i offer it to you…
it is all I have left.
you have rejected the rest;

it is a cornerstone to weight the edge of your reality,
a fealty…beauty will only weather…
i have no strength for marble.
no one deserves to be loved as you are;

no one deserves to love as i must—to carve
with fragmented tusks of memory…
the eyes of consciousness have engulfed you and
cast me adrift…we are continents apart.
my hope flees with the inches.

the prolonged intercourse of our pain
has degenerated to silence…yet, when I long
to see your face, i turn my head into the wind
and evolve toward stone…

when i succumb to memories,
my mind gasps and i am left
with emptiness,
for you are never real…

you remain a distant god aloof and alone
whose shadow casts a twin countenance
aligned, indefatigable…against the
inevitable march of madness—
which must conquer us
if we face it alone…

janus...soliloquies
ja allen