seasons...

it was too long ago to forget…
too soon to remember…
the filters remain imperfect…yet.
recollection adheres like ivy to
the mind screen as we sink
again and again into
the abyss of memory…
a baptism of pain and severance…
remember my voice…remember the love,
the loss, the needless journey backwards,
shoeless on hot cement…
bleeding, still overcome by the hot smell of tar,
of rain standing too long in ditches
too deep to drain…
dresses too long, hair wild and curly in the
parched wind…
we were one, then, and we found
ways to deal with what
we could not understand…
there were fantasies then…
long hours in tall fields of corn
where we were victors…
time was ours alone…time was always ahead
as we scampered through cool cemeteries,
hot country roads in the july heat…
but in the fall, social autumns of reds and oranges
under moonlight and along granite corridors
i found another calling and he was mine…
you should have let me go
instead of being afraid of losing…
the struggle has left us imprisoned with
a lifetime of futility…

seasons...soliloquies
ja allen