mirror...

you are my last illusion…
my final glance backward
through eyes which once held my own,
briefly, reflecting longing,
and fear—regret.

i remember the posture well,
practiced and mean…
that held us for one breath,
then blew us to corners we shared…
the tingle was from relief,
not passion…
we separated and spent our youth
growing difficult and empty…

deposited in a world that left us
bent, alone and unrealized…
where love was abstract, idealized
and never tested…
we danced alone…

my mind which sprays words on the wind,
offers nothing now—not even hope…
yet in the mirrored glow of memory,
i seek solace, underlined softness…
trembling, I forget my limitations,
and claw at the content…

but the words are too tainted to trust,
too ancient for meaning,
too sterile to grow…
inside the anger there is
nothing but dust
and resignation…


mirror...soliloquies
ja allen