rage...

Reaching out, my hand brushes your thigh
Triggering explosions
that I cannot silence…
enigmatic energy that is at once intimate and small;
Yet vast and eternal…
Like my soul crying out beneath cold water…
I implode with desire when you touch me;
Shivering, awaiting your retribution…
The fallout of your anger and your uncertainty
For you do not trust me with your love
So I die with loneliness—as the distance between us
Bleeds red hot with your fury…

I grow helpless with defeat…
Weary of the constant struggle
Not to incur your wrath and your scorn…
Your severe criticism of my words,
My thoughts, my attitude toward you…
Then suddenly you turn and love me…
Gesturing me inside where I gleefully flee for the moment
That it lasts because in that instant I live
And my soul soars above the insanity…

The return to distrust and ambivalence
Occurs when I try to say any thing of substance
Or hold you too long or too close…
You back away, suddenly reminded of who I am
And what I represent in this tableau…
This purloined pageant of life
Represented in this holistic horror of existence
Where I am a shadow on the wall,
A whisper on the wind—a fragment of broken glass
Ground underfoot…

rage...prism gates

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