approbation...

cold seeps into my pores, hardening my heart into nihilism;
deep ribbons of uncertainty skirt riveting soul hollows…
as the icy fingers of doubt massage my resistance and I sink into the
frozen abyss where duplicity has iced the murky surface…

i watch myself destroy you,
piece by piece,
reallocating the love you offer to the aged coffin…
while you burn like torqued
chains of resistance, impeded by your
desire for me…by your love and your innocence.

i take them from you because i need them;
i need you to feed me
reason and sanity as i sift the porous seeds of desire
that well inside you and carry you along…
always holding out the promise of fulfillment…
the lie that will never abate…

you can’t see beyond the promise – even though
retractions of innocence and denial
remain in full view beyond the oblique lines;
yet, you mistake them for love and devotion…
i know you do love me without reservations…
i count on that to fuel my needs and
flesh out my desire…

i watch you change who you are and who you should be
into this sham of surrender bowing to me,
to my intense desire to be loved and held in esteem…
you are so far above me, yet I deny you your essence
if it means losing mine…

as an act of attrition, I release you and beg you to move on,
to allow me this final dignity and consolation…
let me go, let me go to where I belong…
let me give you your life back to live as you deserve
in peace and harmony with your youth and the promise of all
the gifts you possess.

I need to be absolved of the guilt of you,
of all the dreams I embraced where we
belonged together – because it was never true
and only i knew the extent of the lie
that i perpetuated in this elusive world where I held
you in my arms and looked deep into your soulful eyes…

approbation...

prism gates

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