dream lover...

the specter coalesces on the surface of my dream;
willing me to surrender…
i sink inside steamy walls where you wait…
you take her hand and pull her toward you;
embracing her, kissing her passionately but
i feel nothing because it is a dream…

i stare as you make love to her and the emptiness
washes over me, stilling my heart and
relegating my senses to absence…
feeling nothing when
desire trembles in every extremity and explodes at each movement…
but dead embers
never feel want or stir tender passion…

features remain indistinct – unrefined…blurred
as you attempt serial connection…
for i never see into your eyes or feel
the warmth of your mouth on mine –
or feel the touch of your hand upon my cheek…

i know your words, your thoughts;
i hear your sighs and your unending silence…
i listen to your concerns, your desires—your
memories of lost loves…

while i remain a shadow who adores you
bartering for your attention,
waiting, always waiting for a sign of love…
an imperceptible nod of acquiescence,
a bend in your relentless resistance…

the specter arouses from his slumber,
shudders imperceptibly,
grabbing my shoulders and pointing to my left
where all the lost loves smile and nod…
amused by my sudden shock…

he beckons me to take my place at the end
of the long line…
as they shift to make space, i blink back tears
realizing the quixotic twist
of this agonized long-lost love affair…

dream lover...

prism gates

ja allen