forgiveness...

i reach down for understanding…
wondering if i can
corner my corruption within this ringing
rhythm of accusation
rolling over me in waves…

i inch across the icy surface,
trembling, uncertain…
staring into the startled reflected eyes
whose frozen tears shimmer like scars…
drawing me beneath the surface…

but then you are there extending your arms,
daring to pull me up
and into your universal embrace
and i cannot move afraid if you
take one more step toward me you will fall
through the tepid ice…

the danger…is so close…
there are angles and turns too twisted
that surge inward and trap souls mid flight…
my silent scream echoes,
begging for forgiveness for the blatant gestures
of longing you intercept from me…

how can i explain their origin and its dead target…
you who stir the ashes from time to time
in conversations we weave without
conscious effort…
you who remind me of life and love and longing,
like breathing and waking…
you with large steps and huge leaps
and the undaunted courage of youth…
who measures in miles while i in inches,
clutching the edge and
clinging to cold compulsion…

I inhabit the transient ebb and flow,
riding currents of unearthed emotion,
of anger and frustration at
experiencing interaction with someone
who is not a shadow of memory or a
ghost of longing…

forgiveness…
ja allen