crisp, deliberate movement along a well-envisioned path
where the ultimate prize promises passion and fulfillment...
the echoes rebound from stone walls
and chiseled arches...
i face myself in room after room
with mirrors in corners
angled to perfection, standing like shadows,
wide mouths askew, inflecting doubt...
the dubious doors all look the same
until one opens wide offering
entrance into a wide arena
tinged with the odor of regret
filled with dead dreams and impotency...
i feel at home here...
where you learn to create life with nothing,
to bend the will against the stereotypical wall
and bounce hope against a broken beam,
here is where you find Man holding the key
to acceptance and normalcy, unyielding inevitability...
you can control all eventualities
except him and his sensual grasp of reality...
when finally he turns away, toward something he feels is real, earnest
never understanding that reality ebbs and flows...
changing with the tide of tomorrow,
never to be rejoined in the next feeble attempt to find happiness...
i am undone, again...
returning to long endless list of chances left to be explored,
caves of indifference upon the brow...
jaallen
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